HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - SEPTEMBER 16: Chrissy Teigen attends the LA premiere of Netflix's "Between Two Ferns: The Movie" at ArcLight Hollywood on September 16, 2019 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)

Chrissy Teigen penned a heartfelt letter to the public about her recent miscarriage. Teigen posted a series of photos to social media on September 30 and October 1, describing the pain that she and husband John Legend were going through, but this is the first time she has made a public statement since then.

She described the difficulties that she had with the pregnancy. “After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.”

She noted the criticism she received for sharing photos from the hospital on social media. “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them.”

“I feel bad our grief was so public because I made the joy so public,” she said. “I was excited to share our news with the world. Stories leading up to this had been chronicled for all. It’s hard to look at them now. I was so positive it would be okay. I feel bad that I made you all feel bad. I always will.”

She concluded, “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories.

Read the full essay at Medium.