Welcome to Brainless Boneheads! Every Friday, Don Chase & Sarah find some of the wildest, craziest stories out there to help kick off your weekend with a smile.

• The "Not My Pants" Defense

  Just when you thought you had heard every excuse in the book, I have a new entry for you.

  According to WPXI-TV in Pittsburgh, Stephen Patterson flew out of Pittsburgh’s Arnold Palmer Regional Airport a few days ago.  Before his flight, Stephen bought some drinks at the snack bar, but paid with a $100 bill.

  Unfortunately for Mr. Patterson, that bill had “Motion Picture Use Only” stamped on it. The cashier hadn’t noticed at first, but once they did, notified police.

  With everyone in an airport having been identified, it wasn’t hard to track Patterson down. When Patterson made his return flight last Sunday, police were waiting with an arrest warrant.

  But that’s not even the best part. Stephen’s excuse once he was arrested? He said he didn’t know it wasn’t a real $100 bill, because it was in the pants pocket of pants he “borrowed” from someone else.

  The old “I was holding it for a friend” excuse got really weird this time. For his trouble, Patterson is facing counterfeit bill usage charges.

• Stealing the Bosses Car

  

  The car left abandoned on the tracks. (Image Courtesy NSW Traffic and Highway Patrol)

  We’ve all been upset with our boss at some point in time, but a guy in Australia may be taking it to a different level.

  According to 9News, a 23-year-old unlicensed driver in Australia got drunk Saturday night, and took his bosses’ car for a spin.

  While on his joyride, the man – who is in Australia on a work visa – decided he wanted to try to jump some tracks it seems.

  “The accused has cleared a 3-4 foot gully, bounced along the grass for approximately 60 metres, before hitting the bottom of the track ballast (rocks used to hold train tracks),” NSW Traffic and Highway Patrol said. “The man has hit the track ballast, launched over the train tracks and landed approximately 10 metres away from the train tracks.”

  That wasn’t enough though. The man then reversed the car back on to the tracks and just decided to leave it there. Then he got out and went home.

  A commuter train saw the car on the tracks and avoided hitting it, but reported it to police. A nearby farmer got his tractor out and helped pull the car off the tracks.

  But now the man from the island nation of Vanuatu is facing criminal charges, and it could end up landing him deported back home.

  

  The car was removed from the tracks by a friendly farmer nearby. (Image Courtesy NSW Traffic and Highway Patrol)

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